Box Watcher

In March 1997 I was fortunate to be in attendance at Wrestlemania 13, the biggest wrestling show of the year.  On the under card that night a young Rocky Maivia defended his Intercontinental championship against the dreaded Sultan!  Maivia was a squeaky clean “babyface”,wrestling slang for good guy.  It was clear he was being marketed as a hero for kids.  Nothing wrong with that, the only problem, no one really liked him.  He was too vanilla for most wrestling fans and was really quite boring.  

Later that year he amped up his character, became a cocky bad-ass who adopted a series of memorable catch phrases and changed his name to “The Rock”!  After he turned “heel”, bad guy, he became arguably the most popular wrestler of his generation.  Years later he became an actor, quit wrestling and started going by his real name of Dwayne Johnson.  He may as well have gone back to Rocky Maivia.  

Race to Witch Mountain stars Johnson as Jack Bruno, an ex-con trying to go straight by driving a cab in Las Vegas.  One day two teens Seth (Alexander Ludwig) and Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) get in his cab with a fistful of cash and vague directions.  After being chased by men in black SUVs Bruno soon discovers the two are more then they appear to be.  The truth is they are a pair of aliens on a mission to prevent an alien invasion.  The men in the black trucks are government agents hot on their trail.  To complicate matters they are also being hunted by a “Siphon”, an intergalactic assassin, sent to foil their mission.  

It’s not a bad set up for a good old fashioned kids action/adventure romp.  It certainly worked for Disney before in the mid 70’s when the company released the films, Escape from Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mountain, on which this one is based.  Both of those films are fondly remembered by a generation of kids who will presumably take their kids to see Race from Witch Mountain.  I have a feeling this one won’t be as well remembered as the others.  

So what went wrong?  For one the script falls flat.  There is nothing about this film to get the viewer invested at all in these characters.  There is little to no character development in any of it, after all that might require slowing down the story.  The pacing is like a video game.  There is action and a quick bit of dialog to advance the plot to the next sequence.  But nothing of any substance happens in between the action.  

Also the villains never feel at all frightening.  There is no suspense when facing down the bad guys.  The Siphon has a menacing look but nothing to make us feel intimidated.  Scene after scene he defeated to the point where he seems like a stooge.  He can’t even avoid a falling beam on stage with out even getting knocked out.  The government agents aren’t much better.  

Fault also falls on director Andy Fickman.  Scenes are shot in the most generic manner and he does not have a grasp on on how to make the material work.  It’s understandable he didn’t want to make it too dark, it is a family film after all but, he failed to make a movie that would appeal to anyone but maybe young kids.  

It’s really contradictory, in the March/April 2009 issue of Creative Screenwriting Magazine Fickman is quoted “Why do we always have to assume family entertainment is playing to the six-year old?  Why can’t family entertainment play for the older people and then everyone can enjoy it”.  I totally agree with the sentiment, but if you make bland forgettable entertainment, no body is going to enjoy it.  

On the plus side Johnson is good in the film.  His natural charisma shines through and knows how to handle the action fight scenes.  I hate to say it but it seems that movies like Race to Witch Mountain are all he aspires to these days.  After an action career that started out promising, Dwayne Johnson has become stuck doing these family type films.  This is his second, and one can only hope his last, film with Fickman.  

Johnson hasn’t seemed to have learned anything from his wrestling days.  Back then he was shoehorned into a role that wasn’t working.  While he played the part as well as he could, it just didn’t work.  It was only when they found a part that would showcase his strengths that he really was able to shine.  It’s a lesson he really needs to learn all over again.  

** out of *****

Even when things go well, the teenage years are such an awkward time.  Hormones are running wild with a vengeance.  When things begin to make sense, it all changes.  Major life decisions are expected to be made without any real insight as to how the world works.  It’s confusing, frustrating, and painful, and that’s when things go well.  

But for Hal Hefner (Reece Thompson) things are not that easy.  For one Hal’s parents are splitting up, though it’s hard to tell how hard is father is taking it.  When he tells Hal and his brother Earl (Vincent Piazza) he sounds more like a man telling a client his services are no longer required.  Speaking of his brother, he’s a kleptomaniac who is very protective of the things he steals.  Hal’s love life? Yeah right.  Yet, these are not his biggest problem.  Like most teenagers his self esteem is in the dumpster.  Unlike most teens, he has a stutter that makes ordering pizza, instead of fish, a struggle.  

Things look to change for Hal when Ginny Ryerson (Anna Kendrick) asks him to join the debate team.  She was on her way to a state championship when her partner freaked out, and froze up so bad he dropped out of school.  Ginny explains that she has intuited his debating talent and wants him to help her win state by debating the pros and cons of teens being sexually abstinent.  Hal immediately falls in love with her.  After making out with Hal in a janitors closet, Ginny begins blowing off school.  Every time he calls her house to ask about practicing her parents give him instructions on what to work on.  Which in turn leads Hal to tell Ginny’s mother “Could… uh, could… could you tell her that uh… I uh… I’m done with my… my ma… masturbation and she can see! Oh…”. Hal is heartbroken to find she has transfered to a prep school, using him only to weaken the team.  

The film is filled with wonderfully bizarre moments and characters but still manages to be ground in reality.  One of the challenges of growing up is learning to communicate with each other.  In that regard almost every person in the movie is handicapped.  Hal of course suffers from his stutter and his age.  Ginny doesn’t know how to communicate through any means but debate.  Even when fighting with Hal she speaks in the same rhythmic pattern as a closing argument.  

 Despite all the quirks the characters have there is a depth to all of them.  None of them feel like caricatures.  Even the lesser characters are skillfully written and have a life off screen.  The boy who lives across from The Ryerson’s obsesses over the Kama Sutra, and is upset his father doesn’t keep score.  He could be the Barry Bond’s of sex  the boy laments.  At the heart of it these might be strange people, but they’re just trying to figure how to be happy with others.  

Writer/director Jeffrey Blitz has a good sense of how to make a moment funny, yet still pack an emotional wallop.  Take the scene where all of Hal’s desperation comes bubbling up.  Hiding out at the Karma Sutra boy’s  house, he finally figures out Ginny used him.  In a rage he grabs a cello and bolts across the street and hurls at the picture window.  Only to watch it futilelly bounce off.  Not to be deterred he hurls it again, and again, and again, until finally he breaks the window.  Finally throwing the instrument in the opening just as the family rolls up.  

This is a film that never feels conventional.  Despite scenes like the big speech it never falls into cliche.  Rocket Science is about awkward people in funny situations, but most importantly it never stops being about people.  

**** out of *****