Box Watcher

I don’t do this.  The whole “life” blogging thing.  I have nothing against it, I actually enjoy other peoples blogs about their lives, I guess I’ve just never felt I’ve had a whole lot to say.  So I stick to just my movie reviews and whatnot.  

But something happened.  

I got laid off from my job.  

I should give a little background here.  

For the last twelve and a half years I’ve worked for Caterpillar.  Making parts that go on various Cat machinery.  My plant makes different components that go on the machines.  I’ve bounced around from area to area, building all kinds of  parts.  I started making next to nothing, but after time I moved up and made a pretty good buck.  For most of that time I worked second (3pm-11pm) or third shift (11pm-7am), going through periods of not really liking my job to being okay with it.  But mostly I’ve felt apathy.  That is until I finally got enough seniority to get a first shift (7am-3pm) job.  Then I was complacent.  But I can’t say I’ve ever been ‘happy’.  

I’ve felt fortunate.  I’ve taken some college classes at the local Jr. college but don’t have a degree.  So to fall into a job like this is a good thing. Working day shift this last year thing have been okay.  But last fall things started to slow down.  The usual rumors of layoffs began.  If you’ve never worked in a factory let me share a nugget of information with you.  Factory workers gossip as much as a high school girls during prom week.  Who knows how or why these stories start, but they do.  There are constant rumors of layoff, plant closings, and other forms of disaster.  Even in good times.  

So anyway, the rumors started but we were mostly unaffected, until the start of the new year.  It began with office people, then spread to the supplementals, basically temp workers.  All of a sudden there were massive changes, I was moved from day job to one on second shift.  I didn’t like it but was grateful to still be working.  Then the layoffs hit.  

I have a chance of being called back sooner rather than later.  It’s based on seniority and there are apparently only two people ahead of me on the list to be called back, if/when that happens.

I have some money put away and will receive unemployment so I’ll be okay for a while.  But here is the real rub of the whole situation.  What now?  I could wait around for the company to call me back.  But, if they do am I back to waiting twelve years to get back on day shift?  Not really what I’m looking for.   

I’m thinking of options for continuing my education.  Still not sure what I want to be when I “grow up”, but I’m beginning to have a few ideas.  The thing about that is finishing then going into a career and starting all over again.  But I think it might make me happier than what I was doing.  

Part of me wonders if this is a chance to break out of the norm.  I read an article about people who lose their jobs and it ends up being the best thing for them.  They make changes they wouldn’t have made when things were going good.  To blow this could be a wasted opportunity.  

That biggest thing that is bugging me is the uncertainty.  Even when I didn’t like my job there was at least consistency.  I knew what to expect every day.  Get up, go to work, repeat… 

But now I think of the end of Pleasantville when William H. Macy asks Joan Allen, “What now”?, and she replies, “I don’t know”.  In the context of the movie it’s an optimistic moment.  I mostly feel that way about this situation but I’d be lying if I said I I didn’t have a few freak out moments.  

I hope this all doesn’t seem like whining but I felt the need to write about it.  For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I have something besides reviews to write about….